Identity Theft from Afghanistan to NY

The mister called. I’m not sure if it was because he missed me or if he thought he might get injured or killed today… they took IDF hits today. About 3 rockets coming from somewhere in the mountains, landing about a couple of hundred meters from their building. I won’t hear from him for 10-20 days while they’re doing whatever it is they’re doing over there — advising the Afghan army??? I mean, the coalition forces are gone, and anyone over there now is only on as “advisors”, right?

I couldn’t log on to Hulu. The subscription was put on hold… apparently someone stole his credit card information and bought over $500 worth of stuff at a Home Depot in NY. He got an alert from his credit card company about the charges, and called his credit card company on his phone to find out what was going on — I hate to think what that call cost! I’m thinking that this probably happened when he was buying his Afghan rug for a few hundred bucks! Don’t be fooled… just because they walk around with goats and live in tents doesn’t mean they’re not digitally savvy — how else do you explain all them IEDs that they rig up by pressing a button on their cell phone!?

He said that the thief tried out the card at a vending machine for $1 to see if it worked before going crazy at Home Depot… definitely a man, I mean, what woman would spend that kind of money at a store like that??? Besides, Home Depot is probably the place to shop if you’re wanting to build a home-made bomb with money that you stole out of a deployed officer’s credit card — without ever even having to go through their wallet!

It’s crazy. Before you used to have to worry about walking down a dark alley with your wallet… now people can rob you without even getting out of bed and in their underwear!

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The Case of the Goat

The mister called today while I was at work, very unusual as he knows that I’m at work… I answered because I hardly get to talk with him. I figured it must be important. He called because he had a bad day.

His men were firing mortars today, and some Afghan nomads are claiming that their mortars burned down their tents and killed a goat (or goats???)… he’s stressed out about it because now there will be an investigation. The men think that the Afghans set their own tents on fire just so they could get compensation from the military. It’s hard to prove or disprove because the Army isn’t going to send CID to investigate on a goat. It could definitely be worse, they could be claiming civilian casualties or injuries.

I told him it’ll be a better day tomorrow. I’m sure it’s not the first time that occupied people are claiming dead goats via military fires. I told him to be careful for what he wished for… he wanted to get on this deployment roster.

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The Midnight Call

I haven’t heard from the mister in a week. Yesterday, after we came back from dinner I fell asleep… I had the dryer running for 10 hours! The weekends are my time to catch up on sleeping because I never get enough sleep during the week days.

At midnight, I hear the Skype ring on my phone. (Thank God, and Microsoft, for Skype!) I was so happy I didn’t miss his call. It was about 9AM in Afghanistan, and he had to go PT soon. We talked about my new school, how much I hate the commute, my neighbor Frank, the kids in my class… and the usual I love you and I miss you like 10x back and forth to each other.

I’ve been sleeping with my elephant ever since he’s left. I wanted to tell him to watch Better Late Than Never, it’s hilarious.

I Miss You … ♡

This was on my front porch today when I went home during lunch. He’s such a great guy. I miss him. ♡

For some reason, this made me think of when I asked him what gay guys send each other. Like, guys send girls flowers, and I do believe that even in a gay or lesbian relationship there is a masculine and feminine role — he said gay guys probably send each other steaks. Hahaha.

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♡♡♡

Thanks to three great guys for a special week… but especially to the Intel Captain. ♡

I had received flowers from Ed and Jaime for my birthday, and I was hoping each time it was from the Intel Captain (even though both times I knew it wasn’t though), but the third flower delivery I had hoped… and I held my breath, and my heart skipped a beat as I opened the card — it was from my Captain. ♡

Ed’s flowers came first (I knew they were from him because it was yellow roses in a smiley mug), and then Jaime’s (red carnations)… I told Jaime the Captain didn’t send me any flowers for my birthday. Jaime’s great to talk to because our time-zone makes it possible for when I can’t sleep (he’s stationed in Okinawa).

He will.

How do you know?

Because he calls you every night. Any guy that talks to a girl every day is sending her flowers for her birthday. That’s just a fact.

But he doesn’t know my address! He didn’t ask me for it.

So according to Jaime, I guess that’s how I would know if the Captain actually liked me or not… he would “secret squirrel” that shit. After all, that’s supposed to be his MOS, right? He’s supposed to know how to do things like find an address to send flowers to a girl, without asking her for one… so I went to sleep hoping that the Captain was good at his job and knew how to be a squirrel — I mean, don’t you want a competent officer in charge of soldiers?

I woke up and found out that the Mets are going to the NLS against the Cubs, so already it was a great day (#2015WorldSeries)… and during 3rd period, my phone rings three times.

The first time was the guidance counselor asking for a student. The second time it was the librarian asking for the same student. The third time… it was the office telling me I had flowers. I waited until I got to my desk before I looked at the card. ♡

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There’s that infamous dimple of mine!

Getting “Catfished” …

Everyone knows what a catfish is — it’s a muddy fish found at the bottom of lakes and rivers.  I’m sure there are probably a lot of Chinese regions that have this fish in their cultural cuisine — however, this was not something I’ve ever eaten growing up.  I don’t know if the catfish was just something that wasn’t found floating about in the waters of my parents’ villages in China, or maybe in that region people just didn’t have the acquired taste for it.  No clue.  I, myself, view catfish as a “country” dish.  It looks like a fish patty to me every time I’ve seen it on someone’s plate.  When I think of fish, I think of something with scales — a catfish does not have scales.  For this reason, observant Jews do not eat this fish according to the dietary laws of the Torah.  (I’ve dated a Jewish guy, I know a little about these things!)

Okay, so everyone knows what a catfish is in its literal term, but what is being “catfished”?

There’s been a documentary, which then was turned into a MTV show, and now it’s part of the many stupid terminology listed in urban dictionaries.  Honestly, I thought that term came from the dating site Plenty of Fish (POF).  My whole thought on that was that the site is called Plenty of Fish.  I know there will be people who disagree, but I personally don’t find catfish appealing or desirable when compare to other fishes like tuna or salmon; which is why I think that saying you’ve been catfished is like saying you were expecting wild salmon from Alaska and instead got muddy catfish from some dirty lake.

I’ve been on plenty of dates from POF, and so far I’ve been fortunate enough not to have been catfished.  I don’t dwell too much on looks.  I’m aware of certain physical attributes that I can overlook, like weight.  I think my “success” in this is that women tend to make more fake profiles than men do.  Like a woman would just have a completely fake profile altogether, with pictures of someone they found on Google images; men lie too, but not to the extremities that women do.  Men will usually make themselves taller, give themselves a better job title and description, exaggerate their successes and financial stability (who doesn’t want to make themselves look better?!), but a woman will post a picture of some Victoria’s Secret underwear model and pass it off as herself.  I don’t really find a lot of men that try to pass off pictures of Calvin Klein underwear models as themselves though.

Here’s some (probably unwanted) advice for my fellow online daters out there in cyber world.  I never respond to anyone that seem to have professional pictures up, and by professional I mean if it looks like the person is posing for the catwalk.  Don’t get me wrong, I play around with the different filters on Instagram too, but be wary of someone that looks “picture perfect.” I love selfies!  No, really, I really do love selfies — I love taking selfies and I like selfie pictures… only, not in the bathroom.  I think bathroom selfies are kind of gross, I don’t like seeing anyone’s toilet in the background; but selfies are a good indication of a real photo.  Also, if the photos are a hot guy/gal, but just one photo is blurry or the person is really far away, or that one photo doesn’t really look like the others do… be skeptical.  Another photo suspicion of mine is where all the pictures are group photos.  I’m happy you’re so social and have friends, but it’s a dating site, are you really trying to play Where’s Waldo?

So one thing that I always do if someone messages me and I find him interesting is ask him to add me on Facebook — so that I can basically stalk him online.  Okay, online stalking is really for your own personal safety here, not in a creepy way!  Think about it, you can tell if a Facebook profile is real or not as oppose to other dating/social media sites.  The friends list, does the person have friends that are in common with one another, like coworkers, or friends from the same high school or college, or even the same regional area; or are all his/her friends just random people from like Ohio, Alaska, Italy, China, Spain, Germany, etc. — or do they only have like 5 people on their list?  Photo albums and wall posts are also important.  Timeline, does it only go back to the current year or does it go back a few years?  Mostly, anyone that tells me that they don’t have a Facebook makes me highly suspicious.  I mean, you set up a dating profile, but you don’t have a Facebook? Come on, really?!

Don’t fall for the worm bait!  Happy fishing fellow online daters! ♡

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Being in a relationship has difficulties for everyone, but being in a long distance relationship intensifies those difficulties.  When is the distance worth it and when is it time to kick the would-be, could-have-been relationship to the curb?

I, myself, am in a long distance relationship, and I just want to make this one statement very clear — it SUCKS!!!  There, I said it, the complete and honest truth.  It sucks.  Think about it, how can it not suck?  You don’t get to see the person whenever you want, they can’t be physically there for you during those bad days when you really need them to be, and you wonder whether or not it’s even worth it or just a huge waste of unaccompanied time… and most of the time, it doesn’t work.  That’s the reality of it.  I know, I should never be a suicide counselor!

Here’s the thing about long distance relationships that has to be talked about if there’s any intention for it to work out at all — the intent to reunite.  Now, if you’re reading this, you’re probably on Google search looking for someone to relate to, someone to tell you that it’s all going to be okay and work out, and you guys are going to live happily-ever-after.  I hate those obnoxious people — I really want to be one of those obnoxious people!

The fact of the matter is, one of you is eventually going to have to pack up your life just to be with the other person.  If you’re in love, I’m so happy for you.  If you’re in high school and found some guy on Facebook that you’re just sooo into… stop it!  You probably haven’t even met him yet, don’t get catfish by some pervert who’s probably 45 years old!  I’m talking about adult relationships here.  No one wants to talk about the future (well women do, men usually don’t).  Guys hate having “that talk” — that talk usually means that the woman is expecting something from the man.

Are you comfortable having that awkward talk with your guy — you know, when you’ve said “I love you” like twenty times a day when you had easy access to each other; will you still love him when you guys are miles and miles away?  Will he still love you?  That is why a long distance relationship isn’t meant for the young, the inexperience, or the faint of heart.  It’s meant for the mature couple who has determinations and achievable goals.  I am surrounded by high school teenagers all day.  It’s so irritating to me.  What’s even more irritating is when the girls profess their undying love for some guy after a week of “dating”. (Was I that annoying as a teen?  Yes, probably.)

What is that awkward conversation about anyway?  It’s talking about the future, talking about the relationship.  When one person is relocating that puts an unavoidable barrier in the relationship, that’s the best time to be completely honest because all bets are off at that point — one of you is moving, and if it doesn’t go as you’ve hoped, then the distance will help to move on from the heartache.  Some of the things that should be seriously talked about before the big move are: How long are we going to be apart?  What’s the intent of this relationship?  What’s the time-line here?  Are we going to see other people and still be with each other?  If we are having an open relationship, what’s the boundaries?… and whatever other questions that you’re concerned about, or things that you want answers to.  Now, the part about the time-line is important.  Women have biological clocks.  My ovaries ache every time I watch some romance movie, it ends with my bladder being in my eyes and crying buckets full of tears.  Seriously though, your clock is ticking!

When you’re an adult, if you feel you’re in love, you shouldn’t be stressed to talk about your relationship.  It’s normal to get anxiety as you’re preparing to talk about it and how you should approach the topic, but after you guys both confess your love to one another, then all cards are on the table about the relationship.  You have that security to be honest with each other if you’re in love.  Do you want to spend the next year, two years, three years, five or more years keeping the relationship at a distance? — is that what you seriously see for yourself as happiness and love? If there’s no concrete intent of being together after about a year’s time frame, then it’s time to go back to fishing in the sea… or river, or lake, or pond — heck, even fishing in a puddle is better than missing some guy that’s miles away in a dead-end relationship.

Okay, so maybe you guys have decided to give it a try, see where it goes.  How do you survive a long distance relationship?  Communication is key.  I know that sounds so cliché, but communication really is the backbone of a relationship that is separated by mileage.  When you don’t have readily access to the other person, you are forced to communicate; whether it’s by phone, email, text, messenger services, social media, video calls, etc.  Your conversations are so much more meaningful because there’s only so many times you can say, “What’s new?”, before it gets annoying and boring.  It’s also important to still try to maintain the relationship as if the person was still there.  So if before the person moved, he/she was the first person that you told anything good or bad to, they should still have that role so that they know they’re still important to you even when they’re not physically there.

Be creative — so like for myself, my guy’s in the Army, I pretend he’s deployed.  It helps.  I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it if he actually was on a deployment, so it makes me committed.  It also makes me do little things like send him cards that I’ve made, or sometimes if I’m being lazy just the generic Hallmark greeting cards — but he always gets something in the mail (including a piece of furniture that was delivered via FedEx for his birthday).  It’s so much easier to send an email or a text, but some things just can’t be replaced, like a physical piece of mail.  Ask any guy who is a war veteran, and he’ll tell you there’s nothing like getting a real letter through the mail.  That’s why the military has services like moto-mail, where a typed letter can actually be printed out for the service member who is deployed.

Lastly, don’t let some article or a blog post (including mine) dictate your life to you.  The internet is awesome, and I’m constantly reading articles and posts that I randomly find online, but everything that is written is always the life of someone else, not yours.  Only you can decide what your values are, and what you’re worth giving up or having, and if in the end it was worth it at all.  Even I don’t know what will happen… I’ll update in a few months (or a year, or years) to tell you if it was worth it to me or not.  At this point, I’m already a frequent flyer for Southwest flying back home to NY all the time, so I might as well do it for Texas too.  Good luck!