The Captain had briefings all morning, reintegration after deployment — they teach you useful stuff like rape is bad.
So in my last post, I wrote about cold feet. I asked him, does he feel anxious? He said he does, but that no one is really ready for this kind of stuff. Ha, that’s exactly how I feel! I love that we think the same way about it. And honestly, why should people feel bad about feeling a bit hesitant about huge life events like this anyway? Communication really is key, as cliché as that sounds. After all, it’s now 70° outside, and my feet are warm!
My mom-in-law sent me a text the other day about the mister’s grandpa, he’s in the hospital because of heart problems (the man is like 90 years old). Our engagement party is in 3 weeks, and I would hate for a tragic event to happen. When Shari passed away, it was the week of Christmas, and all I felt was immense guilt if I wasn’t absolutely miserable, especially during the holidays. His mom had told him the same thing, and I love her so much for being such a great mom-in-law; she’s done so much for us, like giving us this ridiculous party (I thought we were going to have a BBQ in his parents’ backyard or something!).
Everyone knows about the typical “monster-in-law”, but I don’t think enough credit is given for the mom-in-law. It’s wayyyyy better than the average mother-in-law. Like, my mom-in-law is AMAZING. She has even helped us pay for the wedding (although, to be fair, we wanted like 50 guests, not 125 guests!)… his whole family is kind of awesome, actually.
I had called my best bud ever, Ed; and the crazy part is Ed and my guy are so much alike, I told him about my cold feet. As always, the sensible Ed came to the rescue, he reminded me about how I felt last summer when meeting the mister’s family. So, rewind a bit, we got engaged during his deployment (which kind of sucked because we didn’t really have an “engagement” since he was in Afghanistan, but he totally made it up to me by letting me pick out my ring — no joke, I walked into Kay Jewelers and chose my own ring; if I had to put a price on his love, he loves me $6,000 worth, ha!)… one of the things that my guy said to me last summer when we were talking marriage was that I had to meet his family if we were going to get married.
I think a lot of women feel the same way about meeting the family for the first time. You kind of feel like you’re in the hot seat waiting to be judged. I was also anxious because basically his whole family graduated from Notre Dame, his dad is a pediatrician, his brother is a scientist, he has an uncle who’s a Delta pilot — I felt like I was even downgrading my own accomplishments because I’m the daughter of immigrant parents, and I was dating the all-American son, from the all-American family.
I bring this up because Ed reminded me why he is a great guy and it’s just the usual cold feet and nothing more — when I told all of these things to Ed, he said, But remember last summer when you asked him what if his family didn’t like you?
See, I was absolutely convinced his mother would hate me, so I said to him, What if your mother hates me!? … He said, “So what? I’m not taking dating advice from my mom.” It was then that I knew he is a great guy.
So we’re still trying to find a wedding song. I’m a huge Elton John fan, I love all his songs; recently I found out that his song Daniel has a cover version from Wilson Phillips… I actually listened to it on repeat because it reminded me of my guy while he was deployed. I Wikipedia the song, and learned that it’s about a guy from Texas who comes back from Vietnam and everyone hails him as a hero, but he just wants to go back to his normal life in his small little farm… someone hand me the kleenex, please!
It’s natural to have cold feet. Like I said, is anyone ever really ready for this stuff? But you know it’s the right one if you can talk about this directly with the person and feel better afterwards. I’m literally marking off the days on the calendar, only 102 more days to go… but who’s counting … ♡
Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights
Oh, I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel,
must be the clouds in my eyes … ♡