When you’re expecting something to happen and it doesn’t, you can’t help but feel disappointed.
Everyone knows the feeling — maybe it’s not getting that job you wanted, or that promotion that you were so sure was a definite, or even something like wanting a girl and finding out you’re having a baby boy instead, etc. You’re not devastated in the same sense that you would feel during a breakup, losing a job, mourning a loss… but you’re disappointed that things didn’t work out how you had planned or hoped for…. it’s that kind of disappointment.
So how do you cope with something like that? You’re upset, but not devastated. It’s disappointing, but not depressing. What do you do? I have had many such disappointments in my life.
First, I allow myself to wallow in my disappointment. Now, as I’ve stated, you’re not devastated you didn’t get the job, but it’s still okay to feel upset because you feel rejected and you kind of feel stuck at your current job — but it’s not overly stressful and depressing as if you were unemployed looking for a job either, because you’re still getting a paycheck. Or maybe you didn’t get into the first choice college you wanted to, but you still have other colleges that you can go to. It’s really not as bad as it might initially feel or seem to be.
You’re allow to feel a bit bum about the situation because it’s not a big deal. Go spoil yourself a bit. Maybe buy something new, go out with friends, treat yourself to something you’ve wanted, etc.
Talk to someone. Everyone needs to vent, whether you’re a guy or gal, everyone needs social support for their well-being. It helps to have someone who can empathize and relate with the situation.
Like, maybe you didn’t really love the guy you were with, but now you really want him back because you don’t want to be alone, or because he moved on first. You’re disappointed the relationship didn’t work out, even though you already knew it wouldn’t work out… well, just let it all out. Write it all down. Call anyone available to listen and chew their ears off. It really does work just saying things aloud instead of thinking thoughts in your head.
Look for the positive in every situation, don’t dwell on the negative.
You tried, and it didn’t happen. You’re disappointed. But as the saying goes — it’s better to have tried and fail, then to not have tried at all. Think of all your accomplishments to even make yourself confident enough to try out for it. So many people don’t even feel qualified to try; actually most people know they’re not even qualified to try something. So even if you tried at something, and you didn’t get the Olympic gold medal, think of the fact that you even qualified to compete in the Olympics at all.
So you’re having a boy, even though you wanted a girl — or maybe you’re having a girl, and you were hoping for a boy… it happens a lot. You’re disappointed because even though it’s not anything you have any control over the outcome, you felt confident enough about it because you were just so sure of it. But, it’s like playing the lottery, it’s just up to chance and fate.
Be realistic about expectations when you’re disappointed about the outcome of something that just didn’t happen for you, especially when you have no control over the deciding factors.
Be grateful and thankful for the blessings and good fortunes in your life, even if they all happened in the distant past. Often when we are disappointed, we focus on the negative and always forget about the positive. The difference between being a glass half empty or a glass half full kind of person. It’s so easy to forget to acknowledge all of the good things that have happened to us when we feel a bit defeated in life. Counting your blessing really is a great way to pick yourself up when you’re feeling in the dumps.