It’s 1AM, it’s hot and I’m being stingy and not turning the AC on and using the ceiling fan instead — unless there’s a heat wave going on, I refuse to turn it on!
I’ve watched a bunch of Tyler Perry movies, and a bunch of other strong, black female character movies… now, I don’t know if the black community is aware of this, but the stereotypes that they feel are discriminating against them, are the same ones that they display about themselves — I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a happy Tyler Perry movie!?! Everything is about rape, incest, abuse, drugs, etc. I’ve watched Precious, For Colored Girls, Waiting to Exhale, What’s Love Got to Do With It, etc. These are some sad-ass movies! These movies enforces the stereotype about black men and women!
For Colored Girls and What’s Love Got to Do With It are my favorite — especially the latter, because it’s a bio-pic about Tina Turner, and I loved her music; I grew up listening to a lot of 80’s music. I love bio-pics, and I felt very sad that she lived such a hard life, even when she became famous and all… I’m glad that she found her strength through the Buddhist religion — everyone’s gotta have something to believe in to get them through the hard times.
Domestic violence is no joke. If you’re in a situation, you need to help yourself; you’re the only person to do it. Never become dependent on a man for your happiness, and especially not financially. I know so many women on a personal level and experience that felt they couldn’t leave an abusive relationship because they didn’t have the means to support themselves. Do what you need to do to defend yourself, and especially if there are children involved — fight back, stab him if you have to, or leave… but never just take it, because it WON’T STOP, and he WON’T change. People like that just weren’t raised right, but even that is not a 100% excuse — you have two options; you can either continue the cycle of violence, or you can overcome it. It’s hard to have compassion and sympathy for a woman who chooses to remain in an abusive relationship, especially when the man is not only abusive to her but to her children too.
Also, there is no shame in your story. Put a voice to it. Let people know what kind of man he is; tell his friends, his family, his coworkers, whoever — if he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong about beating you, then he should have no shame if everyone knew about it. Get the help you need… even if you are struggling financially, there are resources out there. You can get on food assistance, cash assistance, medical assistance, housing assistance, heating assistance, etc. Only YOU have control over your own life, you can’t change someone else’s; don’t stay another day thinking that you can change him.