Recently I asked my hubby if he ever gets on Facebook and feels envious of others — he flatly said, no.
To be fair, that’s because my hubby never gets on social media. He has a Facebook where others post stuff and tags him, but he’s never written his own post; he has unanswered friend requests that he needs reminders from others to approve them when his notifications go unnoticed. He has an empty Instagram account because I asked him to sign up. He has a bunch of other empty accounts too (also because I asked him to sign up).
Really, I love him so much and knew he was my perfect guy when he found out about my blog because of my crazy ex-fiance, and not because he was cyber-stalking me. He would never have even known I was a blogger if not for that lunatic — because he’s just wonderful like that.
I had curled up on his lap the other night, buried my face in his chest, and told him I felt envious looking at one of my Facebook “friend’s” constant posts about how awesome her life is (I actually don’t even know this person, but approved her friend request because she is the wife of someone my hubby knows).
He told me something very thoughtful, that most people who share every aspect of their personal life on social media is looking for validation; how truly great can someone’s life be if they need to post it on Facebook all the time?
This is very true!
Since marrying my hubby, I am very conscientious of social media because I try to follow in my hubby’s example. He is the best role model… but I still can’t help myself by occasionally scrolling through my news feed and feeling a bit green at times.
He asked me why I was envious. I told him because she was always posting about all these things that her husband bought her — he actually told me that the few times he hung out with them at their house in Texas, they would passive-aggressive fight with each other, and he didn’t actually think the guy was that happy at all. (I also found out that she donated her eggs multiple times for money — that’s freakin’ crazy! I am glad I never felt I needed to do something like be an egg donor for money!)
So this person that I felt green about because I was scrolling her Facebook — she had her first child at 20, and there’s no contact with the father (that’s sad!); and despite all the big “gifts” she’s always posting about, her husband never does anything sweet like buy her flowers, and for a while they weren’t even Facebook friends with each other (I noticed that when I was envy-stalking her, ha!). It just goes to show that people who spend a lot of time on social media trying to show others how great their lives are, actually don’t have that great of a life.
But my hubby also told me that people who know me are just as envious of me, as opposed to a stranger on social media. After all, I’m a housewife, which in today’s economy is essentially non-existent; and I do count my blessings that I don’t have to work while being pregnant. We never fight about money, and my hubby pays all my credit cards every month — he never tells me I can’t buy anything (which actually makes me more money-conscientious so I don’t go buying a $300 Coach handbag!).
It makes a lot of sense, that people who share too much on social media often are looking for validation and living a “Facebook life” as opposed to a real one. When I think of how I am now, I hardly post anything except for my crochet pictures on Facebook — but when I think back to my relationship with my looney ex, I took a ridiculous amount of selfies (it was as if I didn’t find him attractive enough, so I had to prove to everyone else on Facebook that I could definitely find someone better). I mean, how happy could I have been if I was constantly on Facebook?
How ridiculous is it that we get so envious of others imaginary happiness because of an alternative reality life on Facebook, instead of genuine real-life blessings. Like, my hubby just earned his German proficiency badge (completely voluntary for anyone who wants to compete for it), but you’ll never see him post about it on Facebook… with gold standard, might I add, just to insert some bragging rights, ha! Even his Bronze Star Medal for Afghanistan, I was the one that posted about it on Facebook.
I guess it really is true, the happiest people are the ones that stay off social media.